I am active in another blog of mine, this is d address:
www.permatakudurra.blogspot.com
Just one more sunrise
8 years ago
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Final Draft: S.E.R.E.N.A
She sits alone at the corner of the room, keeps scribbling on a sheet of paper. Never once, she blinks her eyes. When she feels bored, she wanders around the room trying to find an inspiration. The room is too dull and shabby. There are minimum amount of furniture; a small desk and a chair. She loves the spot which comfy her since she was introduced to the place. That is what she thought. She loves the view from the outside of the window. There are an old oak tree and a swing underneath it. The swing is broken; it is left maybe even before she existed in this world. The cruel world..
*****
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too. They fought again. Every time, it was all about her. Her mother was stupid to mention her name in front of her father. Didn't her mother understand that she was a disgrace to her father? She was nothing in her father's eyes. She was only a punch bag.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door as she already knew what will happen next. It was mean and she could not bear it any longer. After years of hearing the word, finally she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father whom she always peeked out through the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to, by her own father.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin everyday but her mother never complained. Her mother used to say that it was all because of love. She really determined to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day.
"I want to be like you Darla," she smiled at Darla. Usually, Darla would smile back and hold her hands. It felt so warm that she even forgot all of the misery in her life.
But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She has been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass.
“She always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Aren’t these drawings just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawings resemble a ‘D’ letter, stands for Darla,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talked about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that Darla was beautiful. She even contended that Darla killed her father.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. From the photos that she saw, Serena was beautiful when she was a baby. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” might actually exist? This is because from the day I heard about this case, I began to believe that there is split personality.” He looks at Ms Jenny in the eyes.
“Hurm.. from what we got, Darla was only an illusionary friend of Serena as there was no record about her, black and white. No blood relation, none at all. But from my point of view, we do not know what is actually in Serena's mind. We might not understand at all who Darla is to Serena, might be split personality," she pauses. "However, it’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
*****
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too. They fought again. Every time, it was all about her. Her mother was stupid to mention her name in front of her father. Didn't her mother understand that she was a disgrace to her father? She was nothing in her father's eyes. She was only a punch bag.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door as she already knew what will happen next. It was mean and she could not bear it any longer. After years of hearing the word, finally she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father whom she always peeked out through the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to, by her own father.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin everyday but her mother never complained. Her mother used to say that it was all because of love. She really determined to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day.
"I want to be like you Darla," she smiled at Darla. Usually, Darla would smile back and hold her hands. It felt so warm that she even forgot all of the misery in her life.
But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She has been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass.
“She always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Aren’t these drawings just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawings resemble a ‘D’ letter, stands for Darla,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talked about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that Darla was beautiful. She even contended that Darla killed her father.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. From the photos that she saw, Serena was beautiful when she was a baby. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” might actually exist? This is because from the day I heard about this case, I began to believe that there is split personality.” He looks at Ms Jenny in the eyes.
“Hurm.. from what we got, Darla was only an illusionary friend of Serena as there was no record about her, black and white. No blood relation, none at all. But from my point of view, we do not know what is actually in Serena's mind. We might not understand at all who Darla is to Serena, might be split personality," she pauses. "However, it’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Second Draft: S.E.R.E.N.A
She sits alone at the corner of the room, keeps scribbling on a sheet of paper. Never once, she blinks her eyes. When she feels bored, she wanders around the room trying to find an inspiration. The room is too dull and shabby. There are minimum amount of furniture; a small desk and a chair. She loves the spot which comfy her since she was introduced to the place. That is what she thought. She loves the view from the outside of the window. There are an old oak tree and a swing underneath it. The swing is broken; it is left maybe even before she existed in this world. The cruel world..
*****
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too. They fought again. Every time, it was all about her. Her mother was stupid to mention her name in front of her father. Didn't her mother understand that she was a disgrace to her father? She was nothing in her father's eyes. She was only a punch bag.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door as she already knew what will happen next. It was mean and she could not bear it any longer. After years of hearing the word, finally she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father whom she always peeked out through the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to, by her own father.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin everyday but her mother never complained. Her mother used to say that it was all because of love. She really determined to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day.
"I want to be like you Darla," she smiled at Darla. Usually, Darla would smile back and hold her hands. It felt so warm that she even forgot all of the misery in her life.
But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She has been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass.
“She always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Aren’t these drawings just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawings resemble a ‘D’ letter, stands for Darla,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talked about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that Darla was beautiful. She even contended that Darla killed her father.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. From the photos that she saw, Serena was beautiful when she was a baby. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” might actually exist? This is because from the day I heard about this case, I began to believe that there is split personality.” He looks at Ms Jenny in the eyes.
“Hurm.. from what we got, Darla was only an illusionary friend of Serena as there was no record about her, black and white. No blood relation, none at all. But from my point of view, we do not know what is actually in Serena's mind. We might not understand at all who Darla is to Serena, might be split personality," she pauses. "However, it’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
*****
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too. They fought again. Every time, it was all about her. Her mother was stupid to mention her name in front of her father. Didn't her mother understand that she was a disgrace to her father? She was nothing in her father's eyes. She was only a punch bag.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door as she already knew what will happen next. It was mean and she could not bear it any longer. After years of hearing the word, finally she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father whom she always peeked out through the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to, by her own father.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin everyday but her mother never complained. Her mother used to say that it was all because of love. She really determined to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day.
"I want to be like you Darla," she smiled at Darla. Usually, Darla would smile back and hold her hands. It felt so warm that she even forgot all of the misery in her life.
But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She has been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass.
“She always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Aren’t these drawings just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawings resemble a ‘D’ letter, stands for Darla,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talked about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that Darla was beautiful. She even contended that Darla killed her father.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. From the photos that she saw, Serena was beautiful when she was a baby. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” might actually exist? This is because from the day I heard about this case, I began to believe that there is split personality.” He looks at Ms Jenny in the eyes.
“Hurm.. from what we got, Darla was only an illusionary friend of Serena as there was no record about her, black and white. No blood relation, none at all. But from my point of view, we do not know what is actually in Serena's mind. We might not understand at all who Darla is to Serena, might be split personality," she pauses. "However, it’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
First draft: S.E.R.E.N.A
She sits alone at the corner of the room, keeps scribbling on a sheet of paper. Never once, she blinks her eyes. When she feels bored, she wanders around the room trying to find an inspiration. The room is too dull and shabby. There are minimum amount of furniture; a small desk and a chair. She loves the spot which comfy her since she was introduced to the place. That is what she thought. She loves the view from the outside of the window. There are an old oak tree and a swing underneath it. The swing is broken; it is left maybe even before she existed in this world. The cruel world..
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door. It was mean and she knew it she could no longer bear it. After years of hearing those words, she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father who she always peeked from the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin but her mother never complained. She wanted to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was beautiful but still she was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day. But now, she hates her.. Darla was evil but she would never spill it out. She was ugly after all, they loved Darla and the utmost importance no one would believe her. Who would believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She’s been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass. “..she always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Isn’t this drawing just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawing resemble a ‘D’ letter,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talking about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that she could not be as beautiful as Darla.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” did not exist?” He asks again.
“It’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. However, she believed that she was helping her father to become ugly. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too.
“It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door. It was mean and she knew it she could no longer bear it. After years of hearing those words, she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father who she always peeked from the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to.
She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin but her mother never complained. She wanted to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.
Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was beautiful but still she was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day. But now, she hates her.. Darla was evil but she would never spill it out. She was ugly after all, they loved Darla and the utmost importance no one would believe her. Who would believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.
“She’s been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass. “..she always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.
“Isn’t this drawing just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.
“Yes and actually these drawing resemble a ‘D’ letter,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talking about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that she could not be as beautiful as Darla.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. She feels pity for her.
“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” did not exist?” He asks again.
“It’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.
“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. However, she believed that she was helping her father to become ugly. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Final draft: Past and Present... Future
Past, present and future bring significant events for the whole world. According to Wikipedia (2008), the significant term related to this is “Philosophy of Time”. I came across a forum which discussing on this philosophy and it turned out that most of the people there agreed that “The present is always right here - the past and future never are. They are always elsewhere.” (Cainer, n.d.). On the contrary, deep inside my heart it is so significant to me. Each one of them means a lot to me. The recent Eid Fitri awoke me from drowning into the ocean of dreams and let me faced with reality. My heart shouted that the day should be my winning day! Regarding to this, it hits my mind on what I have achieved in these past 24 years. Am I qualified to celebrate my winning day?
Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to prove that experiences did teach a lot.
Firstly, my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point, my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.
Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.
Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore, because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary and immediately went through an operation. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^
Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.
As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-
Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to prove that experiences did teach a lot.
Firstly, my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point, my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.
Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.
Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore, because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary and immediately went through an operation. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^
Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.
As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-
Sunday, October 19, 2008
2nd draft: Past and Present... Future?
We just celebrated Eid Fitri and I believed that everyone is still celebrating. It is the day for Muslim to celebrate after fasting for a month. It is our winning day. Regarding to this, it hits my mind on what I have achieved in these past 24 years. Am I qualified to celebrate my winning day?
Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to proof that experiences did teach a lot.
Firstly, I still remember my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point,my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily get bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.
Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.
Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore,because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.
As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^
Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.
As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-
Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to proof that experiences did teach a lot.
Firstly, I still remember my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point,my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily get bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.
Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.
Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore,because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.
As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^
Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.
As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I don't like hypocrites
Well, honestly I know this person who is near to me as a hypocrite. I known her inside out but she never knew it. She always claimed that nobody knows her. Obviously, her attitudes shown clearly but she never noticed it. She portrays only the good side of her in front of others but not inside the so-called room. No body will believe it but my other friend who used to be with her also said the same thing complaining about her, only the one who stayed with her will know her true colours. Since I got to know her, I wish she could change but I noticed that she haven't change and come to worst she is still haunted by her previous experiences. It is just like the experiences has blacken her heart which sometimes I feel as if I can read her mind and know she has bad intentions. She never grows and could not control her desire to become the best in front of others and not in front of God. Yes, as a friend you have to accept her weaknesses but sometimes it is so annoying that you know it but you couldn't do much to help her. I hate hypocrites and yes, I wish I never know her so that I wouldn't have the desire to help her. I am being cruel now because I could not stand hypocrites anymore!
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