Past, present and future bring significant events for the whole world. According to Wikipedia (2008), the significant term related to this is “Philosophy of Time”. I came across a forum which discussing on this philosophy and it turned out that most of the people there agreed that “The present is always right here - the past and future never are. They are always elsewhere.” (Cainer, n.d.). On the contrary, deep inside my heart it is so significant to me. Each one of them means a lot to me. The recent Eid Fitri awoke me from drowning into the ocean of dreams and let me faced with reality. My heart shouted that the day should be my winning day! Regarding to this, it hits my mind on what I have achieved in these past 24 years. Am I qualified to celebrate my winning day?
Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to prove that experiences did teach a lot.
Firstly, my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point, my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.
Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.
Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore, because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary and immediately went through an operation. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^
Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.
As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-
Just one more sunrise
1 year ago