Sunday, October 19, 2008

2nd draft: Past and Present... Future?

We just celebrated Eid Fitri and I believed that everyone is still celebrating. It is the day for Muslim to celebrate after fasting for a month. It is our winning day. Regarding to this, it hits my mind on what I have achieved in these past 24 years. Am I qualified to celebrate my winning day?

Previously, since my childhood till now, a lady I am, I have been through part and parcel of life. As everyone else, there were sweet experiences and not to forget the bitter ones which I considered as the sweetest. Why? It is because they taught me to discover the reality of life, to remind myself and to learn from them. I still remember that I was a rebellious child, could not agree much with my parents. The egocentrism inside me was very thick that I could not see the world as they viewed it. But now, all of that are coming back to me to proof that experiences did teach a lot.

Firstly, I still remember my schools; the place that I am willing to exchange anything in within my power to be there again. It is a place where friendship starts to develop, a place where we only have to study without much worries of other responsibilities. When I first started my primary school years, it was in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Methodist, Perak. I was there for four years. I was one of the advanced learners who made my teacher did not know how to cater my needs especially when I was in Standard 1. I was in different level with my classmates. Hence, every time I was the one who will be chosen as a class representative for every event such as stage performances. I really like to participate in the opening act for the school’s academic achievement ceremony. Until it came to the point,my teacher did not want me to involve in every event as for her it was the time for others to involve too. I felt disappointed as I love to dance and sing. Furthermore, in academic field I was easily get bored to learn something I already knew. My teacher seemed to notice but she did not do anything. Regarding this matter, I used to ask my father. I always thought a teacher must know everything. My father said that the teacher was not creative and too lazy. Well, I did not know what to react but I enjoyed learning with my father. He knows me well.

Next, the most unforgettable memory was when I won a competition in creating the school's logo. I was in standard three at that time and I beat all of my seniors and juniors. However, did I really win the competition? When I looked back at it I will smile. It was all my father's effort. He did help in creating and colouring the logo. I still remember I was totally disagree with his idea and everything he taught me. But then, when I went to the school with the logo in my hand, every teacher that I passed by will praise the drawing. At first, I did not think so until I was announced as the winner. Starting from that point, however disagree I was with my father I will try to keep my mouth shut. I tried to accept that I was unexperienced little girl who was very stubborn.

Then, I started to experience an abdominal pain when I was in Standard 4. The pain comes and goes at certain times but it haunted me for nearly ten years. It was very painful that I could not forget about it till now. Furthermore,because of the medicines that I took, I became fat bit by bit. As many doctors could not found the cause, I was only given steroid to ease my pain. Years of went in and out of hospitals, finally the mystery solved two months before I entered Institut Perguruan Persekutuan Pulau Pinang. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my left ovary. The pain that I bear all those years was because the cyst getting bigger and it spun inside me. It consists of teeth, small bones, hair and others. It was my twin. Till now, I tried to digest the fact but I just could not believe it. Furthermore, I was not only suffering from the physical pain but psychologically as well as I was fat and had low self esteem.

As related to the matter, I think that I was strong enough to go through all those years and I was able to overcome my negative attitudes. I have been through my secondary years with the pain and not to forget also lots of happiness. There, I met my best friends, Illyanee, Anis and Mas. We are still best friends and if we have the opportunity we will gather. They helped me a lot in getting through those hard years and they were the one who gave me strength when I needed them. Thank you guys.. ^_^

Now, I am a teacher trainee. Well, at first it was hard for me to believe it but that what I will be. It is far away from my ambition but I am grateful. I think that I am born to be a teacher. I love to teach children. I am looking forward to finish my study and be a teacher. However, I keep thinking of my future. Whether I will only be a teacher for the rest of my life or should I continue my study. One thing for sure, I want to open a restaurant..hehe. I love cooking and I have been dreaming about it a lot in these two years time. Maybe it is a sign or something but I surely would love to try.

As a conclusion, I don’t think that I am ready to celebrate my winning day yet. There are lots of thing I haven’t experience and achieve in my life. Let the past be a reminder, the present as an improvement and the future wins..~_-


  1. hope great things for u.. gud luck

  2. it was obvious to me that u had elaborated your point. That was very good.. I like to read your story during your primary school. I can see that you are bright girl.

    Well, I think you should balance your paragraph in good manner. Some of your paragraph was too long and it was odd to me.

    but i think your title was suited with your story. keep a good job!

  3. Thanx for your comment but in my opinion, the length of a paragraph would not effect the flow of the essay. Actually, paragraph is made to differentiate points. The elaboration under each point is up to the writer.

  4. It seemed that you have elaborated more on the reason why the teacher could not teach you well. The organization of your essay seemed to become smoother.
    Just few grammar errors:

    "I really like to participate in...."
    should be "I really liked to participate in..."

    "I was easily get bored to learn something"
    there were two verbs there you put which are was and get
    it should be
    "I got easily bored to learn something"

  5. yeah, now your essay looks better than the previous one. im not giong to comment on grammar because other bloggers will do it, but i just one to give an idea that you can tell ur past, present and future about ur hari raya celebbration or your studies.. but i think so far so good, u have elaborated ur poits clearer that before, perhaps u can cut down some unnecessary points and stick to the most interesting things that happens like ur experience in school during childhood. ur language is understood and keep up the good work for the final draft

  6. your essay looks better than the previous one. i enjoy reading your story.

    the way you explained the situations and experiences is good. making me enjoy reading them.
    good luck for youe final draft k

  7. This draft is better than the 1st ones. You have developed your essay by adding more elaboration on each event that had happened. Now I can really understand the story. I think that it would be interesting if para 5 & 6 are combined. Its just that I think that it comes form the same point and separating seems odd. Its just my opinion. Keep up the good work for final draft!!

  8. a very good job.. :)

    i'm in d same shoes wif persona non grata, some of d para are too long. i agree paragraphs are made to separate d points but even in one big para u still have many points that can be separated. I dont think separating ur para into 3 main points of past, present and future are gud enough as u have lots to say in every main points

    separating para wont really affect ur story's flow actually and readers still now that u r talking bout. u can use the linking verbs

    it is just to ease readers in reading ur story

  9. good essay, flow was good. it will become nice if u can tell more about your pain. i don't really understand about it and how u remove it.

  10. prove not proof, however disagree?, is it true to use the phrases? u can check ur grammatical flaws later. ur essay is good from the first paragraph u post a question, and u put some experiences to support/ prove that u can celebrate ur winning day. a good essay, keep it up!