Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Second Draft: S.E.R.E.N.A

She sits alone at the corner of the room, keeps scribbling on a sheet of paper. Never once, she blinks her eyes. When she feels bored, she wanders around the room trying to find an inspiration. The room is too dull and shabby. There are minimum amount of furniture; a small desk and a chair. She loves the spot which comfy her since she was introduced to the place. That is what she thought. She loves the view from the outside of the window. There are an old oak tree and a swing underneath it. The swing is broken; it is left maybe even before she existed in this world. The cruel world..

*****

“I didn’t have it! You did!” She stood still. She tried hard to maintain her composure. She stared blankly at the floor. She held Darla’s hand tightly, knowing her beloved twin sister was hurt too. They fought again. Every time, it was all about her. Her mother was stupid to mention her name in front of her father. Didn't her mother understand that she was a disgrace to her father? She was nothing in her father's eyes. She was only a punch bag.

It’s not mine!” He threw the cup onto the floor. Her mother screamed. She closed her eyes, withdrawing from the door as she already knew what will happen next. It was mean and she could not bear it any longer. After years of hearing the word, finally she was angry. She did not have any tears to cry anymore. Still, she loved him, a father whom she always peeked out through the tiny hole of the door. She always saw her father as a tiny human being. She never had the chance to face him. She was not allowed to, by her own father.

She only knew her mother. Her mother was ugly just like her. Her father tore her mother’s skin everyday but her mother never complained. Her mother used to say that it was all because of love. She really determined to make her father as ugly as her mother so that her father will love her mother. That was what she has been thinking as she did not know what ‘love’ was supposed to mean. She loved her mother. That was what she thought.

Looking at Darla, she was beautiful. She did not know why, Darla was willing to be her friend. She found Darla at the basement of her house while she was looking for her mother. She kept Darla as a secret, as she was afraid her father would choose Darla besides her. Darla resembled the beautiful side of her, she loved looking at her night and day.

"I want to be like you Darla," she smiled at Darla. Usually, Darla would smile back and hold her hands. It felt so warm that she even forgot all of the misery in her life.

But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.

“She has been behaving like that since we admitted her to this asylum,” Ms Jenny observes her from the wall of glass.

“She always draw this.” Ms Jenny gives sheet of papers to the new psychologist who will be taking over Serena’s case. He seems interested to look at them.

“Aren’t these drawings just the same from the crime scene?” He asks.

“Yes and actually these drawings resemble a ‘D’ letter, stands for Darla,” she pauses. “What we found out from Serena’s mother, she said that Serena always talked about her friend named Darla. Serena always pointed out that Darla was beautiful. She even contended that Darla killed her father.” Ms Jenny looks back at Serena. From the photos that she saw, Serena was beautiful when she was a baby. She feels pity for her.

“Serena’s illusionary friend. I heard about that. Do you believe that this “Darla” might actually exist? This is because from the day I heard about this case, I began to believe that there is split personality.” He looks at Ms Jenny in the eyes.

“Hurm.. from what we got, Darla was only an illusionary friend of Serena as there was no record about her, black and white. No blood relation, none at all. But from my point of view, we do not know what is actually in Serena's mind. We might not understand at all who Darla is to Serena, might be split personality," she pauses. "However, it’s not whether I believe or not, it was through the investigation. Who cares what I believed? She was convicted already. Mr Max, may I remind you that we are not here to investigate but to help her.” Ms Jenny lifts her eyebrows to show that she is serious. He smiles and nods.

“Okay, I will tell you a brief report about Serena. This is her file, make sure you read it. You will take over her case starting from next week. Serena is twelve years old. She was abused by her father since childhood and suffered severe injuries. Her mother was the same. They were locked up at the basement of the house to cover her father’s crime. They have no other relatives. They lived in Wearwood. Serena killed her father using a kitchen knife. Before that happened, her mother helped Serena to runaway to call for help. Instead she came looking for his father........”

6 comments:

  1. Bravo!!ur essay has improved from the previous one, but the part "utmost importance" i wonder if u can explain to me more abt it.well overall i can understand it better, keep it up!!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    hahahaha....love this story so much, This time you improved a lot. Not confusing anymore like before. Very clear and good arrangement of plots. Well, what i guest is right, Split identity. Oh i love the split identity case
    just like Billy Miligan.hahahhaha

    keep up your good work for your next draft

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  4. Great job, love it!!

    But now, she hates her.. Darla is evil but she will never spill it out. She is ugly after all, they love Darla and the utmost importance no one will believe her. Who will believe her? She nods several times. Then, she heads back to the desk. She starts to scribble on another sheet of paper.

    I just want some clarification. Who is they? If they don't know about Darla why will/how can they love her?

    Poke me if i'm being to nosy/annoyance/disturbing!! Hihihi!! Gomen!!

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  5. respond 2 babysbreath:

    Well, u can imagine anyone that you like.. just put urself in Serena's shoes.. She is abnormal, i mean mentally ill..

    thanx!

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  6. great job! this time I have clearer understanding of the story.

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